What's On Your Mind?

The only person I know in this whole wide world that does NOT have Facebook and never has, is Ben Johnson, a fellow Mansfieldian/Shitbum. I'm not really sure why this is but if it helps explain it any, he also doesn't own a cell phone. It's just how he operates so get off his back, alright? The day Ben Johnson gets a Facebook account, I will stop listening to Mariah Carey.* I'm not passing judgement here by any means, but it makes me think about how addicted I am to the 'book, especially now that I have an iPhone. It's like putting Cadbury Mini Eggs in front of me and telling me not to eat them. At times, I find myself on it and suddenly coming to and asking myself, "Haley, why the F are you even on Facebook right now?" Look for me on the next episode of Intervention. I can't wait to hear your letters on how my Facebook addiction has affected you negatively in the following ways. I can't really pinpoint why I really even like it other than the fact that helps me keep in touch with people I might not otherwise. It's not even that I love it so much as it is another source of procrastination/something to pass the time/laugh at. In fact, the more I think about it, there are actually more things about Facebook that I hate than love.

My adopted brother, Matthew, recently wrote a blog about 10 'New Rules of Facebook Etiquette'. Yes, I agree that does exist if only in our minds and yes, I agree with most of his points EXCEPT... #2 and #3 because I'm not trying to date or pick anyone up via Facebook but if I was, I guess these would be legit. #5 because I did that. It's a long story and I'm right. #7 because I do that. Hey, why not? Having an account to begin with is in a way self promoting. And lastly, #10 because well, I'm not a dude and don't care. Overall though, it was a good list and made me want to do my own. I hope he doesn't get me for intellectual property.

Anyway, the combination of his blog post and my addiction to Facebook got me thinking. Let's make the Face a better place. And we can start by never putting statuses (statusi?) about the following:

1.) "Oh my god, it's so nice out today!" "Loving this weather!" "It won't stop raining!" I know, Captain Obvious, I have eyes and I'm alive too.

2.) "Little Joey has the runs and is throwing up everywhere! But then he took his first step, got his first tooth and looked at me!" Get off Facebook and go take care of your children. You know, the ones I don't care about. (Sorry, this is mean. I probably just don't understand because I have no children and am the host of zero maternalness.)

3.)"Gym." I always viewed Facebook statuses differently than AIM away messages. I guess others don't. And besides, you're just putting that post up so people know that you go to the gym and then feel bad about themselves for being fat and lazy.

4.)"Ughh Monday/Yay Friday!" Really, Sherlock? You have nothing more creative for me to read?

5.)"Errands, lunch, gym, brushing my hair, washing my car, picking out an outfit then out with the girls in the city!" With each comma, I die a little inside from not caring.

6.) "Sitting in traffic." I understand that you are bored, but no need to spread the boredom. Besides, Oprah would be pissed if she knew you were Facebooking while driving.

7.) "Blah, blah, blah. FML" I'll pay you all to never type FML again. And while we're at it, "It is what it is," and "GTL." If you don't know what these acronyms mean, I envy you.

And those my friends, are my personal, top 7 most hated statuses. I'm sure I have been guilty of one of these a time or two in the past and I will never forgive myself for it. Please don't get me wrong. My statuses ain't nothing special either but 97% of the time, it's original. If you do post these statuses, you'll be happy to know that you are the winner of the most uninteresting, least fun to read, unoriginal status of the day! Along with 112 other people! Let's all just take a moment and look at what Facebook is really asking us. What's on your mind? This blog post would have been my status but it was too many characters.

Happy Facebooking!

*No I won't.

|